A British gentleman whose surname is Featherstone-Hough pronounces it as "Fanshaw". Why?
Often, presumably for reasons of private amusement, the British pronounce their names in ways that bear almost no relation to their spelling. Leveson-Gower is "loosen gore". Marjoribanks is "marchbanks", Hiscox is "hizzko", Howick is "hoyk", Ruthven is "rivven", Zuill is "yull", Menzies is "mingiss".
They find a peculiar pleasure in taking old Norman names and mashing them around until they become something altogether unique, so that Beaulieu becomes "bewley", Belvoir somehow becomes "beaver", and Beaudesert turns, unfathomably, into "belzer". I could go on and on.
In fact, I think I will.
Viscount Althorp pronounces his name "awltrop", while the rather more sensible people of Althorp, the Northamptonshire village next to the viscount's ancestral home, say "all-thorp".
Some others:
Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly
Cockburn is pronounced Coburn
Colquhoun is pronounced Cahoon
Magdalene is pronounced Mawdlin
Wavertree is pronounced Wawtry
and Mainwaring is pronounced Mannering.
The surname generally said to have the most pronunciations is Featherstonewaugh, which can be pronounced in any of five ways: "feather-stun-haw", "feerston-shaw", "feston-haw", "feeson-hay" or, as mentioned above, "fan-shaw". Leicester is Lester and St. John is sometimes pronounced Sin gin.
And from Monty Python:
Specialist: "Ah! Mr Luxury Yacht. Do sit down, please. "
Mr Luxury Yacht: "Ah, no, no. My name is spelt 'Luxury Yacht' but it's pronounced 'Throatwobbler Mangrove'."
The Brits, though, are doing a jolly good job of making sure that underappreciated letters, overspelled words and the need for 5 or 6 lines in a standard address don't go out of fashion in the world. Take the lowly "u," last (sometimes) and least popular of all our vowels. The British have resolutely stuck to flavours, colours and other ways of making the "U" feel that it hasn't been forgotten. Excellent vowel-antidiscriminatory program.
There is a story about an eccentric spinster, the last bearer of an ancient English family name. In her will, she left her considerable fortune to the son of her married sister, but only on condition that he change his family name from something like "Smith" (or maybe Smythe) to her endangered surname, which was something memorable (except that I've forgotten it) like Peppernose-Bracebottom. The nephew was no fool, and not one prone to sneeze at a fortune even with a nose full of pepper. He did as his aunt stipulated, but in the necessary court documents he also registered his intention of pronouncing the assumed name like "Smith." (or Smythe) This was legal, he got the money, and everyone probably congratulated themselves over a pint down at the local pub, "Rooster Crowing Long and Loud over Tudderfield."
No offense (or offence) to any British readers - in fact, I have British blood flowing through my veins. Except for anyone named Featherstonewaugh. I mean, you have to admit that's pretty Throatwobbler Mangrove.
